(Trigger warning: this post contains references to the loss of a parent.)
Zac: A Coming of Age
Setlist
If you read my blog posts on last year’s BTTI, you might recall that I’d been very unimpressed by Zac’s solo set. Well, this year Zac amply made up for it: first, I loved the setlist, which included two new songs, “Reading Your Mind” and “The Ballad of Seymour Better Times” (the latter had first been performed at the 2018 solo set). I will never tire of “Musical Ride” which sums up the life of a Hanson fan, and I’ll forgive Zac for messing up the beginning of “Fire on the Mountain”. Predictably, “Bittersweet”- by now a regular staple of these solo sets - made an appearance, and the rarely played “Use Me Up” also got some airtime, preceded by a funny introduction in which Zac recalled how that song had caused concern among some fans about his mental well-being.
I first saw Zac perform a solo set in 2015, and back then he performed song after song without much talking. Without his brothers on stage, Zac seemed a little uncomfortable, too focused his performance to interact with the audience. Fast forward to 2019 and it’s impossible not to notice how the youngest Hanson has come out of his shell - how relaxed he now looks on stage on his own, joking, introducing songs, making fun of his mistakes. It was without a doubt the best Zac solo set I’d seen so far, and afterwards, I found myself contemplating the possibility of switching to Team Zac. There, I’ve said it.
Isaac: Give A Little Déjà Vu
Setlist
I could have sworn that Isaac had played “Too Much” - a David Garza cover- last year, but a quick check through past setlists proved me wrong: he’d last played it in 2017. Similarly, “More than Anything”, which Isaac had not included in last year’s solo set, had still, however, made an appearance in the 2018 Members Only setlist.
There were still some repeats from 2018: “Smile”, the now ever-present “A Life Without You”, “River” and “Being Me”, and a few returners from 2017 - my Hanson-imprinting-song, “Deeper” and the universally loved Isaac lead “Watch Over Me”, which was interesting to hear as a solo. We also got treated to a performance of “Bad for Me” from last year’s Animal Instincts EP (you know, The One With Two Isaac Leads?).
It was a good, solid set and I enjoyed it, but I would have liked to hear at least a couple of never played - or rarely played - songs, like “I Don’t Know” (which my friend Kasey has been requesting at every available opportunity) or the still elusive “Grace Unknown”, which Isaac attempted, and unfortunately messed up, in 2016. Maybe next year. As it stands, my favourite Isaac Solo Set remains Cancun 2015 when he totally brought down the house, with even people from neighbouring hotels cheering from their windows.
Taylor: Ocean’s Eleven
Setlist
One can’t help wonder how many people handed over their credit cards to Island Gigs for BTTI 2019 on the strength of Taylor’s ‘swim in the ocean’ the previous year. I’m telling you, that man knows how to get his hands on your hard-earned cash. This year, however, there were no stampedes into the ocean, just a succession of songs that made the set feel unusually long. Taylor’s solo sets tend to be short and on point: he comes, he plays, he conquers, and in an mmmbop, he’s gone. I was convinced that this year’s set had run longer, but a quick check of last year’s setlist proved that I just imagined things (that’s the Taylor Hanson effect for you) - both 2018 and 2019 sets included 11 songs.
Among those eleven, he played “Lost Without You”, which rarely gets the full band treatment, and “This is Criminal” - a song from Fools Banquet which most fans seem to really like, but that left me largely indifferent.
I was left anything but indifferent, however, a couple of songs later when Taylor played “Never Let Go”. I’d heard that song live plenty of times by now but that day something felt different; maybe it was the setting, the ‘other’ show that was doing its thing in the background, palm trees swaying in the ocean breeze, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. Whatever the reasons, this time that song really got to me, and I was taken back to a hot day in June 2016, to a hospice room next door to the one where my father, too, had spent his last days, eight months earlier. In a room that was named after a classical composer, I waited all day for my mother to let go. She had already gone, really, sent on her way by a cocktail of drugs administered before we could get there. She had let me and my sister go the night before, when she'd sent us home so that she could watch the Rosary on TV and we could get some rest.
Sometimes only music or poetry can articulate how you feel, so I’ll let the song do the rest.
Just lay down, and let your worries sleep
Don't think now, the water's dark and deep
Cause you know
That I love you and never let go
Just lay down, put those worried thoughts to rest
So when life pulls you down, on my shoulder rest your head
Cause you know
That I love you and never let go
Soon I had tears streaming down my face - a first for me, in a lifetime of concert going. As I frantically searched for tissues in my bag, I was also acutely conscious that I was three rows into the crowd, facing the piano at exactly the right angle to be in Taylor’s line of sight. For once, I was really glad that he had kept his sunglasses on, so that I didn’t have to see him see me.
But you know what? It makes me feel a little better to know that there were a lot of other people in tears during that performance, and I like to believe that there was some collective healing going on at that moment, for all those of us who needed it. Does it move you? Does it soothe you? Sometimes the answer is a very straightforward yes.
Tears aside, Taylor’s solo set was terrific and even managed to de-throne Zac from my personal BTTI 2019 Solo Set Chart. That presented a new problem though: would I have to switch to Team Taylor?
(Full video of "Never Let Go" at BTTI 2019 - credit to Monica Pereira)
Zac: A Coming of Age
Setlist
If you read my blog posts on last year’s BTTI, you might recall that I’d been very unimpressed by Zac’s solo set. Well, this year Zac amply made up for it: first, I loved the setlist, which included two new songs, “Reading Your Mind” and “The Ballad of Seymour Better Times” (the latter had first been performed at the 2018 solo set). I will never tire of “Musical Ride” which sums up the life of a Hanson fan, and I’ll forgive Zac for messing up the beginning of “Fire on the Mountain”. Predictably, “Bittersweet”- by now a regular staple of these solo sets - made an appearance, and the rarely played “Use Me Up” also got some airtime, preceded by a funny introduction in which Zac recalled how that song had caused concern among some fans about his mental well-being.
I first saw Zac perform a solo set in 2015, and back then he performed song after song without much talking. Without his brothers on stage, Zac seemed a little uncomfortable, too focused his performance to interact with the audience. Fast forward to 2019 and it’s impossible not to notice how the youngest Hanson has come out of his shell - how relaxed he now looks on stage on his own, joking, introducing songs, making fun of his mistakes. It was without a doubt the best Zac solo set I’d seen so far, and afterwards, I found myself contemplating the possibility of switching to Team Zac. There, I’ve said it.
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| YOU! Join my team, now! |
Isaac: Give A Little Déjà Vu
Setlist
I could have sworn that Isaac had played “Too Much” - a David Garza cover- last year, but a quick check through past setlists proved me wrong: he’d last played it in 2017. Similarly, “More than Anything”, which Isaac had not included in last year’s solo set, had still, however, made an appearance in the 2018 Members Only setlist.
There were still some repeats from 2018: “Smile”, the now ever-present “A Life Without You”, “River” and “Being Me”, and a few returners from 2017 - my Hanson-imprinting-song, “Deeper” and the universally loved Isaac lead “Watch Over Me”, which was interesting to hear as a solo. We also got treated to a performance of “Bad for Me” from last year’s Animal Instincts EP (you know, The One With Two Isaac Leads?).
It was a good, solid set and I enjoyed it, but I would have liked to hear at least a couple of never played - or rarely played - songs, like “I Don’t Know” (which my friend Kasey has been requesting at every available opportunity) or the still elusive “Grace Unknown”, which Isaac attempted, and unfortunately messed up, in 2016. Maybe next year. As it stands, my favourite Isaac Solo Set remains Cancun 2015 when he totally brought down the house, with even people from neighbouring hotels cheering from their windows.
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| I need to hang on to my team...but how? |
Taylor: Ocean’s Eleven
Setlist
One can’t help wonder how many people handed over their credit cards to Island Gigs for BTTI 2019 on the strength of Taylor’s ‘swim in the ocean’ the previous year. I’m telling you, that man knows how to get his hands on your hard-earned cash. This year, however, there were no stampedes into the ocean, just a succession of songs that made the set feel unusually long. Taylor’s solo sets tend to be short and on point: he comes, he plays, he conquers, and in an mmmbop, he’s gone. I was convinced that this year’s set had run longer, but a quick check of last year’s setlist proved that I just imagined things (that’s the Taylor Hanson effect for you) - both 2018 and 2019 sets included 11 songs.
Among those eleven, he played “Lost Without You”, which rarely gets the full band treatment, and “This is Criminal” - a song from Fools Banquet which most fans seem to really like, but that left me largely indifferent.
I was left anything but indifferent, however, a couple of songs later when Taylor played “Never Let Go”. I’d heard that song live plenty of times by now but that day something felt different; maybe it was the setting, the ‘other’ show that was doing its thing in the background, palm trees swaying in the ocean breeze, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. Whatever the reasons, this time that song really got to me, and I was taken back to a hot day in June 2016, to a hospice room next door to the one where my father, too, had spent his last days, eight months earlier. In a room that was named after a classical composer, I waited all day for my mother to let go. She had already gone, really, sent on her way by a cocktail of drugs administered before we could get there. She had let me and my sister go the night before, when she'd sent us home so that she could watch the Rosary on TV and we could get some rest.
Sometimes only music or poetry can articulate how you feel, so I’ll let the song do the rest.
Just lay down, and let your worries sleep
Don't think now, the water's dark and deep
Cause you know
That I love you and never let go
Just lay down, put those worried thoughts to rest
So when life pulls you down, on my shoulder rest your head
Cause you know
That I love you and never let go
Soon I had tears streaming down my face - a first for me, in a lifetime of concert going. As I frantically searched for tissues in my bag, I was also acutely conscious that I was three rows into the crowd, facing the piano at exactly the right angle to be in Taylor’s line of sight. For once, I was really glad that he had kept his sunglasses on, so that I didn’t have to see him see me.
But you know what? It makes me feel a little better to know that there were a lot of other people in tears during that performance, and I like to believe that there was some collective healing going on at that moment, for all those of us who needed it. Does it move you? Does it soothe you? Sometimes the answer is a very straightforward yes.
Tears aside, Taylor’s solo set was terrific and even managed to de-throne Zac from my personal BTTI 2019 Solo Set Chart. That presented a new problem though: would I have to switch to Team Taylor?
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| My team has a waiting list: get in line! |
(Full video of "Never Let Go" at BTTI 2019 - credit to Monica Pereira)
This post speaks so beautifully to the power of music. Truly moving. Thank you for opening up about such a poignant and personal moment <3
ReplyDeleteThank you! I wasn't sure if I should talk about that situation so openly, but then I thought it might actually be therapeutic not only for me, but for others who I know have lost someone. And I always try to balance things out with some humour too ;) #teamzac ?
DeleteI've been team Taylor since MMMBop is 97. I never waver.
ReplyDeleteThat's admirable! Hahaha! Thanks for reading :)
DeleteNo, I Don’t Know, I’m team Zac now.
ReplyDeleteThere's two of us now then!
DeleteNever Let Go is an odd one for me. Sometimes it reaches my emotions and rips my heart out, and sometimes it's just another time that I'm hearing it. I don't know what the determining factor is, but I'm never sure how I'll react.
ReplyDeleteI can relate, because until this particular performance it had never really hit me that way.
DeleteThank you for sharing such a personal moment during "Never Let Go." I have heard Taylor talk about this song in respect to how it's evolved into being a sort of lullaby for his children, and I've also heard people (perhaps completely inaccurately) talk about how it's about losing a loved one. I've listened to the song in that context before as though it's from the perspective of the person losing someone, but it never hit me to hear it the other way around--as a comfort to the one being left behind. That somehow hits me a bit harder, though I always appreciate a new perspective whether it makes me emotional or not (the first time I read this I was actively sucking it up and trying not to go teary in some airport in Australia). I wonder if it will be harder to hear the next time I hear it now, even though WYIYD has finally worn off a bit.
ReplyDeleteOn a happier note, I absolutely loved Zac's set this year, and I also loved Taylor's, but I'll jump in the minority boat with you on "This is Criminal" not quite wowing me.
I'm glad I didn't completely hallucinate Taylor talking about that song in relation to his children (several people have since confirmed). Apparently it was during a lecture at MOE 2015 and although I wasn't there, I definitely listened to some clips or read blog posts...(maybe one of yours?) - so anyway, I did not hallucinate it = a good thing.
DeleteIn terms of the actual meaning of the song - as it was all happening my first emotion was to see it through my mum's eyes - how maybe that night when she sent us home, maybe on some deep level she knew it was the last time we'd speak. I thought, she must have felt, whatever happens, wherever I go now, I will never let you go.
And then it kind of all reversed itself, like a switch of POV and it was me feeling that way.
I'm sorry I nearly made you cry at the airport, but as I said in the post, I think music can bring some collective healing and I like to think that we all got some of that during that show.
Welcome to the 'This is Criminal doesn't do it for me' team!